Sunday, January 28, 2007

It's All About my Mother...

Or so it seems...

I'm almost finished the body of her Green Gable. Just another inch until I do the bottom ribbing. I inherited my ta-ta's from her, so I put some short rows in for her to help it fit better. We did a couple of fittings, so hopefully it will all be ok.
I have lots of yarn left, so I will discuss 3/4 sleeves with her in the future (unless of course she wants to stop lurking and actually leave a comment for a change... MOM!)
And here is the first Bamboo sock. This yarn is so soft! It will be interesting to see how it holds up. When I started knitting it, I figured I would see who they fit better, and that person would be the owner of the socks... as you can see, they're pretty baggy at my ankle, so congrats mom, you will soon be the new owner of a pair of bamboo socks! But next time, you must buy yarn for ME!

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

A Week At The Gym

My friend Kathleen sent me this. I am nowhere near as grumpy as this guy (I still like Angelo), but it's pretty funny! Thought I'd share.....

BTW- Kathleen sells Pampered Chef... need some kick ass stoneware? Call her.

Dear Diary:

For my fortieth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since playing on my college football team 25yrs ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservation with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26 yr. old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swimwear. My wife seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.


Started my day at 6:00am.

Tough to get out of bed, but it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She was something of a Greek goddess - with blonde hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!!!!

She took my pulse after 5 minutes on the treadmill. She was alarmed that my pulse was so fast, but I attributed it to standing next to her in her Lycra aerobics outfit. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring, Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around.This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!


I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air, and then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!! It's a whole new life for me.


The only way I can brush my teeth is by lying on the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered the other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whines that is VERY annoying. My chest hurts when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stairmonster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too.


Her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late; it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to workout with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the men's room. She sent Lars to find me, then, as punishment, put me on the rowing machine which I sank.


I hate that bitch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic little cheerleading bitch. If there were a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it. Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the*&%#(#&** barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?


Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.


I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year, my wife (the other bitch), will choose a gift for me that is fun - like a root canal or a vasectomy.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

No Thanks

Lots of people are trying to "Knit from Their Stash" in 2007. Screw that I say, screw that (a little Corrie reference there!).

In the last couple of days I have obviously spent far too much time surfing knitting sites...
Ooops, I ordered some yarn, and then Oops, I did it again.

I've bought the Cezanne before, and am using it for the yet unfinished shapely tank. I think it will work nicely as an inexpensive yarn for the Simple Knitted Bodice, as long as I have enough. The other yarn, the Debble Bliss Cashmerino..... I have no idea what I'll use it for, but it's so cheap, and ORANGE! I love orange.

So no knitting from the stash for me, It's 2007, the year to expand my stash, apparently.

Friday, January 19, 2007

i kan read reel good 2007

I love to read. Always have. But I can never remember what I've read. So i thought I'd keep track here. If I'm procrastinating from school work, I may even put in a short review. But more to remind myself than to help you!

Books I Read in 2007
  1. Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke (January 17).
  2. Knitting Rules by Stephanie Pearl-McPhee (February sometime) I actually read this from start to finish. A first for a knitting book. I even read it at night before going to sleep. It was actually a pretty fun read.
  3. The History of Love by Nicole Krauss (March 23)- my cousin Erin told me about this one. There are a few stories that kind of come together at the end. They all circle around a fictional book called "the History of Love". I loved it. Had trouble putting it down.
  4. The Children of Men by P.D. James (March 30) Tracey had read this for a book club, and got me really interested, then the movie came out (which I haven't seen). Do we all know what it's about? It's2021 and the men are infertile. No more babies. I brought it to Cuba and quickly realized I had already read it! Maybe in highschool? Anyway, reread it and enjoyed it.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Process vs. Project?

People often talk about being a "process" knitter vs. a "project" knitter (whether you knit for experiencing the process, or if you knit for the finished project). I've never really sat down to examine my own interests. But really, looking back, I don't really wear any of my sweaters, but it's because they're too big. But I'm not one of those people who jumps right up to re-do them (in fact, I have yet to re-knit something).

But yesterday at the grocery store (while wandering around in severe pain, and fully expecting to pass out after my workout) I came across the new Vogue Knitting. This is the sweater on the cover:
I DESPERATELY want to knit it. Is it because I want to wear it? HA! That would look ridiculous on me. Imagine some big boobs underneath, with a Santa Claus belly jiggling around below it. What a joke.

But still, I bought the magazine, and totally plan on making it, just to see how it's done.

So maybe I am a process knitter.

PS- If anyone desperately wants this sweater, i guess you can put in a yarn request and I'll give it to you after the "process" is over.......

Tuesday, January 09, 2007


How's it going with the personal trainer? you ask.
Today was session #3. My legs hurt so much I could cry. And it will only be worse tomorrow. Ugh.
But that's what I'm paying the big bucks for!

Thought I'd share some of Angelo's wisdom's with you while we're here....
  • cheese bad, cottage cheese good
  • when you're doing cardio, you don't burn any fat until after 20 mins, so you should do your weights first (that'll count as the first 20 mins)
  • a protein shake is an ok snack if you're hungry (but freaking expensive!)
  • to burn fat you need to do at least 12 reps (not just 8) of weights
  • food and drinks (like my friend beer) with yeast in it, tends to hang out around your belly My love of beer was acquired during university. So was my gut. Coincidence? I guess not.
  • Cranberry juice is really high in carbs! I pointed out that it's really good with vodka, especially the white kind, but it didn't really phase him....
And this machine:
Is my enemy. Yup.

My Mom Rocks: Further Evidence

Bamboo Sock Yarn!
But they came with a comment that went something like this.... "I tried to pick them in your colours, but if you don't want the socks, I'll wear them". Yeah yeah. Subtlety isn't a strong point in our family.

My parents have a time share in Myrtle Beach for the last week of the year, so they head down after Christmas for shopping and crafting (my mom) and golfing (my dad). This year she found a yarn shop in North Myrtle Beach called "Knitting Up a Storm" (no website). Lisa, I think you should sue.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Pucks and Belly's

Mmm.... Mariah pucks. My finger was getting really sore form all the knitting, so I took a break to frog my Mariah. It was knit with Paton's Classic , and even though I only wore it a couple of time, it was quite pilly. It should be interesting to see how it knits up the second time!I meet with my personal trainer for the first time tomorrow. His name is Angelo. I have no idea what he looks like or what he's like yet, because I've only talked to him on the phone. We're starting with two sessions per week. I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow.
To fully embarrass and humble myself, I thought I would post a photo of my humungo gut. Here it is, in also it's glaringly pale glory. Enjoy.
We can revisit it in three months to see if the excessive amounts I will be paying Angelo have made a difference.
And of course, as everyone knows, if you are spending copious amounts of money on something, you need to purchase new clothes to go with it. Here are my new LuLuLemon duds. I don't know what I was thinking with the tank top. I haven't felt comfortable wearing one of those in ages. And the short black shorts? I think they're going back. Short shorts? I must have been delusional.
And just for fun, a photo of some of my goofy friends on New Years, taken with my phone, which apparently takes crappy quality pictures.
P.S..... I've been obsessively watching 24 on DVD- I'm 4 hours into season three. Every time I hear the phones ring at CTU (that "beep, beep, bee-deep"), I wonder if I can get that ring for my cell phone.....

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

The Romni Goods

I have lots of yarn. Over 187 balls actually. So to get me to go yarn shopping, you really need to twist my arm . For example, the Romni sale:
Heather called and said "Let's go to the Romni Boxing Day Sale".
I said "OK".

I spent way too much, but everything except the sock yarn was on my "list". What you see below is some Brown Cotton Fleece for a Green Gable for me, some sock yarn from the sale bin (which doesn't match... I didn't notice until I got home, it's dark down there!),

and some Noro Kureyon to make a hat for my friend Mick (he's moving to Vancouver on Friday, he'll need it)..

And what's this? New York Yarn in puck form?

Yup, baby bought her first Wool Winder.

I can't believe how much these things cost, but oh how I love it!

I spent the last two days sending Mariah to puck heaven. Love the pattern, but knit it too big. It's just collecting dust in my closet. I want to do it again in a different size.
It was the first sweater I knit when I picked up the knitting needles again in '04, so I'm sure I made a tonne of mistakes, and it will be way better again! Hopefully it will help de-clutter my closet a bit.....

And today, I signed up for personal training at the gym. My wallet is going into shock.

Monday, January 01, 2007


  1. The state or quality of being resolute; firm determination.
  2. A resolving to do something.
  3. A course of action determined or decided on.
"Resolving" sounds so negative. I think I'll make promises to myself instead.

  • I promise to try and laugh out loud every day.
  • I promise to try harder to lose my big belly.
  • I promise to try and de-clutter my home this year
What about you?