Warning: Too Much Information to Follow!

I haven't pooped since Saturday night. I normally poo at least three times a day. That's like seven poos backed up in me. It's getting pretty uncomfortable. In fact, I don't think I've ever gone so long without going.

I'm starting to get paranoid that I'm going to need medical attention like Bruce on Survivor last season. I've been assured that I don't need to worry until 5-7 days, but I'm pretty sure I'm worried now (and 7 days without a poo? That's just craziness).

I'm not sure about taking any medication to help, so I've been trying out some of my own "home remedies", things that tended to 'trigger' my bowels in the past.....

• extra coffee- kept me up last night, but no poo
• extra bran on my cereal- no go
• eggs- had 'em yesterday with no effect, I even fried them
• extra protein drinks- nothing
• spicy, garlicy dinner- enhanced my breath, but nothing else
• flax seed on my cereal- tastes weird, and no effect
• lots of extra water- no trouble peeing
• lots of running at the gym- I think the poo is starting to give me cramps.....

Today I am at work. I work at a hospital. With nurses. They are formulating a plan to cure me. I think they are going to fill me up with mineral oil, olive oil and prune juice in a couple of hours. I will keep you posted.